


And here I am holding onto you

by cruelest_month



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: A visit to the Lonely, Established Relationship, Forced Marriage, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manipulation, Mild Torment, Monster husbands in love, Some angst, almost, family is the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 12:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20358319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month
Summary: Peter Lukas finds himself once again on his way to Elias Bouchard's wedding. Only this time Elias is marrying someone else. Peter obviously doesn't care for this at all.





	And here I am holding onto you

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr, Cuttooth said: _I wish you would write a fic where Elias marries someone else while he and Peter are on their latest divorce, and Peter is shocked by how much it hurts him. :D_ So I tried to deliver. 
> 
> Thank you, Whiskeyjack and Jenavira for looking this over. And Jenavira for also letting me bounce ideas off of them.
> 
> The title comes from a Josh Ritter song.

Peter doesn't think much of his presence being requested back home. It usually is in one way or another. Sometimes he can avoid the obligation but when the order comes from Nathaniel, he makes his way to Kent each and every time.  
  
On the way, he calls Elias because it's been some time and like so many predictable things in his life, missing Elias is a regular part of his routine.  
  
Rosie informs him he's not at work and won't be expected back for some time. She won't say why.  
  
"It's a rather private matter," she says which means he can reason with her.  
  
"Rosie, just how much privacy can there be between us?"  
  
"He hasn't wanted a fuss made."  
  
"Is he sick?"  
  
"He's getting married."  
  
Peter has long since given up driving himself anywhere, but n that moment he finds himself wishing his hands were on the steering wheel. He'd like to swerve off the road. "Beg pardon."  
  
"Getting married."  
  
She keeps saying it, but it makes absolutely no sense. "He can't be. I'm right here."  
  
"Sorry, Mr. Lukas?"  
  
"Oh, it's this reception out here in the country," Peter lies. "I said congratulations would be in order. Where can I send them?"  
  
"Mooreland House in Kent."  
  
"Ah, perfect." Perfectly bizarre. "Thank you, Rosie. Give my love to your daughter," he says and hangs up. What the actual hell is going on?   
  
He calls Elias' cell phone.  
  
"Bouchard."  
  
"Oh so we're on speaking terms? I'm not blocked then?"  
  
"We talked just last week, Peter. Why ever would you be blocked?"  
  
"You're getting married."  
  
"Did you even need to bribe her this time?"  
  
"No, I think she sounded concerned."  
  
"It's rather sudden, I suppose."  
  
"Is it true?"  
  
"I am, as it turns out, getting married. You'll need to act a bit stunned when you arrive."  
  
"Stunned?"   
  
"You're not meant to know. I don't think anyone is. I only was informed owing to my role in the... blessed event."  
  
Peter is a bit focused on his own emotions. This is nothing new and is rather typical. However, it does occur to him that Elias sounds particularly unenthusiastic for someone about to be married. Then again this is probably the seventh time he's going through with it. Maybe the thrill is simply gone?  
  
He sighs, unsure what he wants to say. He is, in fact, surprised. More than that, he feels stung. This isn't how this is supposed to work. They're supposed to fall apart to come back together again. Elias marrying someone else--  
  
"Yes, just me and the person I'm marrying. Someone you might be rather familiar with."  
  
"Yes, yes, congratulations."  
  
Elias curses some distance away from the phone. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and consider the circumstances."  
  
Peter growls quietly, tempted to hang up before allowing common sense to have its sway. Someone he is familiar with. Someone at Mooreland House. Someone who wants it to be a surprise...  
  
Elias sighs as he continues. "Look, nothing is to begin without you here. It's to be a traditional wedding. We never had one of those."  
  
Peter grimaces. Elias isn't being asked for give up his power, but to temporarily submit to another one. It is rather typical of a Lukas wedding but one of those archaic customs Peter has chosen to ignore. "You're not going to want one of those."  
  
There's a pause as Elias talks to someone. "Oh, Nathaniel assures me I don't know what I want," he replies once he's back on the line.  
  
Nathaniel. Peter frowns intently, leaning back in his seat. "Is he there with you?"  
  
"We've rarely been apart since he proposed. I was about to be arrested at the time, and he stepped in, resolving the matter. What could I do but agree?"  
  
"Fuck."  
  
"I rather thought so."  
  
"Maybe I could--"  
  
"Divorce me again? I think we've got that covered. I'll see you when you arrive."  
  
"I can talk to him when I do."  
  
"There's more at stake than your wounded pride."  
  
"Considerably more," Peter agrees. There's his jealousy and frustration too.   
  
He's not entirely sure how Elias feels although not particularly good seems to be the strong indication he's been given. Even if that wasn't the case, even if his former husband wasn't being forcibly married? Elias had been taken from his Institute and was soon to be thrust into the Lonely before vows were even exchanged.  
  
The problem becomes how little he can honestly do about it until that point. Once Elias is given to his patron, well, Peter has more options. Certainly more options than Elias.   
  
He can't tell Elias about it, of course. Not if Nathaniel hasn't. Fear is best when it's real. Besides, at the moment, Peter can't really do anything for Elias that would help. Making promises he might not be able to keep can only do more harm than good.   
  
"I'm sorry," he says softly. And he is.   
  
He's sorry he got tired of suggestions for how long he ought to go and how often he got to stay. He's sorry that the more he was wanted somewhere, the less he wanted to actually be there. He's sorry that some of what he could do to fix this is utterly impossible if he has to go against his family.  
  
Moreover, he's aching with a dozen or more regrets because none of this would have been possible without him. Nathaniel couldn't have someone that was Peter's, but Nathaniel could have someone that had been his. And Elias had been his.  
  
"Thank you," Elias says in a neutral tone that's impossible to interpret. Then he hangs up.  


__________

  
  
"Is there something I've done?" Peter asks when he sees Nathaniel.  
  
His cousin embraces him lightly, looking puzzled. He's wearing a black suit with a silver vest and tie. As usual, he looms over everyone else. A falcon attending to a smaller flock of birds that would do well to mind its talons. "Hello, Peter. I don't believe so. I would have liked this to be a surprise but that's all right."  
  
"Oh. Yes. Congratulations," Peter mutters, handing Nathaniel a large present wrapped in silver and white paper.  
  
Nathaniel grins as he hands it off to someone else. "You didn't have to."  
  
"No, but...well... So... Elias."  
  
Nathaniel smiles placidly. "Yes, Elias. I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I thought since he's family already, there wouldn't be any harm in it."   
  
"Even though I've married him several times over?"  
  
"A vicious cycle, really. You leave him every time."  
  
"...right."  
  
"The fact is, Peter, you're not very attentive. He was in a fair bit of trouble when I arrived to make the offer. We'll need to do something about his staff. I understand he's protective of them, but they're in need of replacing."  
  
"I should think that was up to him."  
  
"Not really. What I'm in need of is a quiet home with a functional marriage. Someone else can tend to the Institute until it's ready for him to resume control. When I decide he ought to."  
  
"Does Elias know that?"  
  
Nathaniel tilts his head. "The Eye doesn't need to know everything all of the time. Its servants seem to prefer finding these things out for themselves."  
  
"Bad news is not the same as a discovery or solution to an experiment."  
  
Nathaniel laughs. "You've always been so very dramatic. At least it's not as bad as I feared. I thought you'd come in and challenge me for him."  
  
"He's not..." Peter trails off. He can't even say it. Whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter. He doesn't want to say that Elias isn't his. Not here in his family's home. "He's not property to fight over. If he wishes to marry you then I won't make a scene. I will simply express to you that it is my hope that you'll make him happy."  
  
Nathaniel pats Peter's cheek. He doesn't have to say that he finds this a bit silly and significantly absurd. A happy marriage isn't something either one of them would know anything about.  
  
"Elias does wish to marry you, right?"  
  
Nathaniel smiles, a glint of wickedness to it.   
  
Before he can say anything, Elias joins them, looking subdued. He seems a bit unfocused but he lets Nathaniel take his hand, wrapping it around his future husband's arm. He's wearing a white with a black vest and tie. Peter frowns. Elias hates wearing so much white.  
  
"Peter," he says with a nod.   
  
"Elias. I was just asking Nathaniel how you were feeling."  
  
Elias smiles thinly. "Oh, it's hard to describe how I feel. I'm not really sure what I'm in for."  
  
Nathaniel chuckles. "I never realized that you had refused a traditional wedding each and every time, Peter. Why, it's almost as if you were never married at all."  
  
"We were," Elias coolly observes. "I have very fond memories of each and every time." He gives nothing away. He never does, but Peter feels nervous for him. Concerned in a way he keenly wants to express and would if Nathaniel wasn't here.  
  
"This will leave a more lasting impression," Nathaniel continues after a moment's pause. The fleeting look he gives Elias is decidedly menacing and smug. "You see, you'll be brought into the very heart of our patron and left there until I retrieve you."  
  
Elias blinks very discreetly. "For how long?" he asks Nathaniel, letting his fingers brush against the other man's.  
  
"I haven't decided." Which means that of course he has. "It used to be that the number of days represented the years of the marriage, but it had rather severe side effects. Ones that seem rather obvious with some hindsight."  
  
"Is this necessary?"  
  
"I find that it starts marriages off on the right footing."  
  
"I see." Elias outwardly continues in the same manner as before but Peter is aware that he's withdrawing from them. Whatever he's thinking, he's not going to share.   
  
Some relatives in a corner wave Nathaniel over. "A few more people to catch up with and then we'll start," he says with a smile. "Come along, Elias."  
  
"Just a moment." Elias moves away slowly, allowing Nathaniel to kiss his cheek.   
  
He eyes Peter thoughtfully then hugs him. It looks like a loose, disinterested gesture, but his fingers dig into Peter's back, hiding in the fabric of his jacket so no one else knows.  
  
"I don't think I know how to be happy for long," Elias whispers. "It's only ever happened with you. Being lonely won't make me forget that."  
  
Peter hugs him back, aware of Nathaniel staring at them. He wants to say it will be all right. He wants to tell him that Elias won't be lonely for long. He wants to tell him that the only times he is happy is when they're together.   
  
He hesitates too long to speak though. Nathaniel tugs Elias insistently until he follows, leaving Peter feeling cold and distinctly useless without his touch. Peter resolutely doesn't look after him and Elias doesn't look back.  


__________

  
  
"When will you go after him?"  
  
"It was Robinson who ruined our opportunity?" Nathaniel asks from where he's been leaning against the wall. "All those years back? You always say it was her."  
  
"Because it was her. Obviously."  
  
"I don't know that it is obvious. You tend to tell Elias everything."  
  
Peter stares hard at Nathaniel. He has done nothing all day but give up on what he wants for this idiot and his reward is to be accused of what? Sabotaging his own ritual?   
  
"We have never told each other everything," he says patiently and through gritted teeth, "because grown people allied with different powers rarely if ever tell each other everything. I have my priorities and he's always had his. Gertrude endlessly and relentlessly made a mess of things. Elias had nothing to do with it."  
  
"You wouldn't tell me if he did."  
  
"Are you marrying him or not?" Peter challenges.  
  
Nathaniel smiles, looking thoughtful. "I should go fetch him, but if I don't, there could be benefits in it for us not to mention the family as a whole."  
  
"Without him, there is no Institute."  
  
"Oh yes, the beating heart speech. An exaggeration."  
  
"A certainty." _As I will raze the place to the ground on my own if anything happens to him_, Peter thinks. "Regardless of what you think of its hiring practices, destroying the Institute and its Archives does more harm than good."  
  
Nathaniel considers Peter with something like hopeless disdain. "You really do love him."  
  
"You really don't."  
  
Nathaniel laughs. "You can't be surprised."  
  
"No, but it confirms my suspicions. So it's a bit of a relief," Peter muses, crossing his arms. "So what? Is this where you tell me to leave him there to rot because he makes me weak?"  
  
"Unfortunately, he doesn't have anything to do with it. I wanted to see what you would do. I could still marry him, if that’s what you’d like, but I'd rather avoid what lies ahead."  
  
"Meaning?"  
  
"Meaning it doesn't require attunement with the Beholding to know what will happen between you two will always happen between you two. The only one who doubts it is Elias and that's thanks to me."  
  
"So this was..."  
  
"I've been hungry and the world is as boring as it is predictable. I wanted something new to feed the family. I've told you that the mistake the others make is they roam and hunt on their own. I wasn't lying when I told you his staff, his people, could do with replacing. For all your flaws, I would never leave you vulnerable the way his assistants have left him." Nathaniel pauses and smirks. "We're family, after all."  
  
Peter scowls. "You just wanted a meal."  
  
"Not just a meal. I'm providing for far more than just myself. We all love a wedding but a feast is really what brings us together."  
  
"You stole my husband so you could feed off of him."   
  
"Come now, Peter. You enjoyed his fear that same as I did. The same as the others did. They needed that and Elias will endure."  
  
"He's mine," Peter says no longer concerned with the effects it might have to say so in his ancestral home. "My husband. My person. Mine. You come near him again--"  
  
"All right, all right," Nathaniel replies with a grin. "He will be family and he will be yours as soon as you fetch him. Traditions exist for a reason. You shouldn't have held off so long."  
  
"I stand corrected. You wanted a free gourmet meal and you wanted me married."  
  
Nathaniel smiles and tousles Peter's hair. "Properly. You make such a mess of things. If it wasn't me, it would be someone else who wouldn't give Elias back let alone go to such lengths to teach you to mind your belongings."  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Only for the moment and not even then, Peter. We're family."  
  
Peter grimaces, having no desire to admit that this is accurate. "I have too much to do to dignify that with a response." And then he vanishes.  
  


__________

  
  
The gray twilight landscape is familiar and comforting. It wraps around him like a friendly feline companion. The portion of the Lonely Elias has been sent to is merely a more abandoned version of the Lukas family manor. It is full of old webs, empty rooms, and silver shrouds strewn over dusty furniture.   
  
Peter played here often as a child. He hardly needs his eyes open to find the room he wants despite the seemingly endless stretch of hallway in front and behind him.  
  
Because Elias is, of course, in Peter’s old room. He perches on the very edge of the bed, seeing nothing and enjoying even less. The only concession he has made to his circumstances is his grip on the poster bed and the blue tinge to his lips.   
  
When Peter comes closer, he can see scratch marks in the wood and blood under Elias' nails. He sits down beside him. Elias startles. It has nothing to do with Peter being there and everything to do with the solid weight of Peter pressing up against him.  
  
Peter takes Elias' left hand in his, frowning at the diamond resting there. He pulls it off, pocketing it for the time being. "Ugly thing. I'll get you something better."  
  
Elias shrugs. It's hard to tell what he means by it if anything. "You never brought me here."  
  
Peter takes Elias' hands in his to warm them. To make sure the ring is still there. "I never would have."  
  
"It didn't seem like a game. At least not one that you or I were playing."  
  
"It wasn't. Whatever it was, I'm quite done with it and more than willing to take you away from here."  
  
"That sounds lovely. Are we married if we leave? Do I have to get married in order to leave?"  
  
Peter brings Elias' hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it. "No. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."  
  
Elias closes his eyes for a moment. "Could we be married?"  
  
Peter frowns. He's torn. He wants this because he seems to always want to be married to Elias. Only he hardly deserves it at this point. Elias may not be clear on that point so it is his job to provide reminders.   
  
"I can't see why you'd want that. I'm not here because I did anything, Elias. I'm here because Nathaniel's finished. He just wanted to have a bit of fun, I suppose."  
  
"Ah, Peter. I don't want you for the things you can do," Elias says with a faint smile. "I want you because you're mine. Because you're here for me as you usually are. And I don't want to marry anyone else."  
  
"Yes, I sort of realized that myself around the time you were about to marry my cousin. That you're mine, I mean. I may have announced it to my entire family. Who probably knew already."  
  
Elias closes his eyes again. "You're an idiot."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'd like to be somewhere that isn't some version of this house, _please_."  
  
Peter helps Elias to his feet before vanishing them. It's a quick thing to get them out of the house and into the car. Peter ducks back inside to make his farewells with him.  
  
Elias is tucked up under the seats when he comes back and it takes some effort to get him out again. Peter lets this pass without comment.   
  
Once he's gotten Elias into a proper seat, he kisses him softly and then with a bit more urgency. Elias tugs him close, returning and deepening the kiss.  
  
Peter eventually knocks on the partition to get the car moving. Then he presses their foreheads together. "So we're married."  
  
Elias rolls his eyes. "Strictly in the loneliest way possible. Let's find a chapel and try something a little less miserable for a change of pace. We'll have to get rings later."  
  
Peter pulls a thin chain out from under his shirt and takes it off. He hands it to Elias who blinks down at the two plain, golden bands hanging off of it. "I just figured with the rate we get married, it was easier if I kept track of the older set."  
  
"Peter... What if he hadn't been finished with me?" Elias asks after a moment, his hand wrapped around the chain and its rings. He looks a bit puzzled, the way he usually is when he's trying to decipher something he has limited experience with. "What if he refused to let you come after me? What would have happened?"  
  
Peter pulls Elias close and kisses his hair. "Something dreadful, no doubt. Nothing permanent, exactly. Nathaniel is a lot of things, among them family, but so are you. And I think it's safe to say you're my favorite."  
  
"I was going to consider being mad at you at some point," Elias admits almost shyly. "For not fighting for me or saying a damned thing when I really needed you to."  
  
"Is that impossible now?"  
  
"That's never impossible where you're concerned, but it seems like a wasted effort. I'm too relieved to be with you again." He leans over and kisses Peter soundly. "Because I seem to be in love with you. How ridiculous."  
  
Peter grins, pleased to see all remains fairly right with the world despite his family's efforts. "Don't fret. I'll do something foolish and infuriating later just for you."  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"Of course. It seems like the least I could do. There's no point in you loving me if I don't love you even more, you know."  
  
Elias just smiles back, leaning against him. "Wake me up when you decide where you'd like to get married. But you better put more effort in this time."  
  
Peter strokes Elias' hair and nods. "I will," he says.   
  
When Elias nods off, he pulls out his phone and makes some plans for their arrival in London. Peter already knows how he can annoy his husband in a way that won't significantly impact their wedding day (or night for that matter). After all, won't it be wonderful when Elias’ staff act as their witnesses?


End file.
